An Ugly Girl Speaks About her destiny

I am an ugly girl; the society pretends to disregard my ugliness but I know that they are held to it every day. When I was young, I had no problem with it, for then, I always preferred a single life with nothing but Barbie dolls and chocolates. Slowly things started to come into light for me; I was in 4th grade then, a boy named Ryan was in my class, as kids we played, fought and studied together. Ryan was a cutie then, he still is now. His family lived in our neighborhood, he was my parent’s favorite among all my friends, he scored well in tests, by well I mean he managed to get 5 or 6 marks greater than me in the papers. And for a couple times me and Ryan were partners in dance that we performed at school,which was taught to us by his elder sister. My parents always threw me his examples for him being better at studies, and I was OK with it, for the fact he was my good friend and I enjoyed being with him. He often came our home to learn from my elder sister Maurie. She taught us English, science and maths together, I had a perfect friendship with him till then.

Then came one day, some of our teachers took about half of  the class to the auditorium, we were said that, they will teach us dance for the oncoming Annual day function. Me and Ryan were standing together, for I was sure that he would be partnered with me as the teachers knew that we danced together. But that didn't happen, one of the teachers held Ryan’s hand and took him near the girl named Daisy and made them partners. I felt sad, I don’t know what was it then but yes, I felt sad, from distance could see Ryan’s ever shining smile became a sad curve that day.  I was given Ravi as a partner; we practiced and prepared for the function. On the function day, after we performed, something odd happened to me again.  After every dance me and Ryan, his dad used to take pictures of me and him, but this time it was Daisy and him. I don’t know what happened to me then, but seeing both of them clasping hands, my eyes became moist and I felt like crying. But my mood was again revived after a few candies from his dad, his dad carried me to our home that day as I fell asleep in their car while returning home. By the time I reached 6th grade, Ryan took admission in a different school as his dad was transferred to a different part of the country. Naturally I was sad as I lost a good friend.

By the time I reached 7th grade, dances in school became different; these days they don’t take the whole class to perform but a group of teachers takes an audition of all the performances and then selects those who were eligible for performing. I went to some of such auditions, about 7 of them but never got selected, I never found the reason out and I never tried to. I lost interest in dance after that, and satisfied myself by stating that nobody in our country gets paid by dancing, better I concentrate in my studies. Days passed on, and then one day I realized that couldn't understand what the teacher wrote on the blackboard, I thought it may be due to less sleep that I got last night, but the problem persisted the next day too. I conveyed it to my dad, and he took me to see the eye specialist. I went to the doctor s chamber with two eyes and came out with four, I was diagnosed with myopia and the doctor referred me glasses. The next day, I got called by about 5 names ranging from ‘chashmish’ to ‘battery’ at school, but I had no problem as I was used to teasing, for my exceptionally skinny body. Other than that I was happy as I could see everything clearly.

In 9th grade, things approached me in a different way. Where ever I go, I felt like eyes were following me; at school I felt like people were criticizing me. I felt that I heard their laughter, voice notes of making fun of me, mocking me, etc. I realized that I was getting insecure about my appearance, as a result I started spending more time at the shower, emptying those body shampoos that promise instant fairness and rubbing them against my cheeks tattered with pimple spots. Things at home too took a different turn, the relatives who came to visit us, the ladies specially; never forgot to give a natural remedy for my skin before leaving. Eventually more of the “besan” went to my face then to our kitchen. Dad brought fruits in loads, and my mom made it sure that I ate and  rubbed equal amounts of them on my skin, ‘kesar milk’ every morning was a must  for me. Every time I used a face pack, I used to imagine that after I washing  it off, my skin will look  like milk with a pinch of vermillion added to it, and when I go to the school next day, all of the students shall  turn their heads to me…. I may even  get a few proposals on that very day......”It’s time to wash it off dear’’, my mother’s voice draws me to reality then, but after I wash it off, nothing happens, it was the same me starring at me .

In the second term I thought of having a new uniform, so I went to the tailor along with my mom. While taking the measurements, I urged the tailor not to make my shirt too hollow and make sure that it fits me, I was too annoyed when one calls me “a shirt draped on a frame”.  I also made sure that the length of my skirt doesn't exceed the limits of being called a “geek” or a “parhaku” as said in our language. The clothes were delivered after a week; I willingly didn't try them at home and decided to wait till the day school reopens.

The trend of having a Facebook profile was upscale in those days, I too had one but I never put my own photo in it and I only logged in once a month. All my friends asked me to join Facebook, so one day I took a few snaps of mine and uploaded them to my computer, not a single pic was satisfactory, they were all in fact pretty much disgusting, I deleted those pics. The next day we went to my cousin’s place for dinner, he was 13 and took a great deal of interest in computer. There I found the world’s most effective beauty product- “The Photoshop”, I quickly learnt few of its tools,and told my cousin to copy the software to a disc. After we reached home that night, I installed it in my PC; I familiarized myself with it again. The next morning after having a bath I took a few snaps of myself and edited them. I ‘smudged’ the little spots under my eyes, ‘clone stamped’ my pimple marks, increased the contrast a little and deleted my hair locks that I didn't want. I sat there looking at my master piece, I was amazed, It was a pro, I aced it totally. I did a few more pics and uploaded them to Facebook. Within an hour I had about 25 likes!! I was so happy, that I kissed the disc. For the next couple of days, I often logged in to see how many likes I got, till the time it no more trended, I had about 100 likes for my profile pic and another 100 on the other  pics collectively, I was more than happy.

Finally the day of school reopening came, I wore my uniform,  praying hard that I don’t look worst then I anticipated. With my eyes closed I went to the mirror and opened my eyes, there was a  new me staring at me, I didn't looked too beautiful, but I guess I looked decent, for the first time I was happy  wearing an uniform. With a great mood I went to school that day,I managed to get a few compliments from some my girl friends. I was happy and proud; or you can say that I was happy and “not afraid”; I prayed to God that every day of my life becomes like that.
Couple of days later, a 10th grader  boy  ‘Robert’ came to our class, that guy was known for his charm and handsomeness among all the girls. He looked inside, made sure there was no teacher, and entered the room. He had an envelope in his hand and came straight towards me and handing it to me said “do read it”. My heart started to beat with a scary speed, as he went out of the room, I was shaking, for a few seconds I didn't heard anything, Small pints of sweat started appearing on my forehead.

All my friends came gushing around me, asking me to open it, some of the boys started to woo even;
“Open it with a smile” was written on the opening flap of the envelope, I pulled out the letter and started reading  it..

Dear Sujata,

With loads of love and blah blah…………………………………………..

…………………………………………………………………………..

………

Eternally yours.

Dave

Wait… Now this was the part that gave me a shock, it was not Robert who wrote the letter but it was Dave, Robert was just a messenger. My heart felt a little bitter but still its okay that at least someone is there who admires me. Some of my classmates even took a breath of relief knowing that it was not Robert(!).

The next day during recesses, Dave along some of his friends came to our class, I got his first look, he was a shy, average boy, nothing striking to be mentioned. He asked me timidly what I had thought, I told him that I need time to consider it; those were not my words, but was instructed by my friends, they said that if you say that you love him too soon, he might take you for granted. I had no feelings for that guy yet still decided to go with the script. We exchanged numbers, and we started texting. As our small texts transformed to long midnight chats, I discovered that he is not as boring as he looks; he really knows to talk to a lady and impress her. Soon our winter vacations started, we texted even more then, I felt my day to be incomplete without one of his texts,'may be I am in love' . But in the last couple of days of vacation, he rarely texted, I thought it might be due to his approaching Preboards and let it go.

During the exams, the day I gave my 2nd exam, one of my friend came to me and said “it’s good that you didn't say ‘yes’ to him, just look what he is doing”, unaware of the situation I went to see him.

Dave was talking to Karishma, an 8th grader, I decided not to say anything then for it might be something else they are discussing. That evening when I couldn’t curb my curiosity anymore, I asked him why was he talking to Karishma?

Couple of minutes later a reply came, “I am glad that you asked, for it was going to be very hard for me to tell you myself……….Karishma and I are.................… I hope we still could be best friends”.

I knew those last words really never meant what they were meant to be. It simply echoed for me that “there is someone better than you and I chose her over you.” For the first time in my life I cried  the whole night, I hated everything that night, myself, my face, my parents for bringing me to this cruel world. I was very depressed for the following days, as a result my other exams were not so good. As a result my parents were angry on me, so that depressed me even more. I knew that other than myself none will understand me for what I am going through. And the days kept on passing.

In the following days, my outlook for the society changed, I was careful in selecting the principles that the society fed me. When people say, “'Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind” kind of words, I quickly switch them to “my top liars” list. If people are so much fond of minds only then why we never see mediocre looking actors playing the role of a hero or heroine in films? Or during the initiation of a marriage, why the Groom-people ask for a photograph of the Bride? Why it happens that the most beautiful girl of a gets the place in the college brochure and not the most meritorious one? True thing is that, the world has always favored those who were ‘materialistically beautiful’; I am OK with the society for being more inclined to the materialist beauty of a person, but why it should upkeep such false regards like ‘looks doesn't matter'? Ask yourself, have you ever seen an ugly anchor or newsreader? No, because they are always rejected, this kind of segregation is everywhere in the society. From the job of receptionist to air-hostess this persists, this kind of unfairness is based on the lines of a cast system, as in both the cases the privileges or punishment involved is totally dependent on accident of birth. Talking about ugliness could be compared to talking about Sexism in my country; no one is willingly to tell you about it yet secretly employ it.

My college days were more or less the same, filled with insecurities at certain points of time, the worry of finding a good groom was visible in my parents eyes, yet I found a solution for that, I found some people who are more like me, who have seen such atrocities happening to them someway or other basing on how they look. We created a bond among ourselves, the time I passed with them is the only time when I was happy of being ugly. From the day I understood the real meaning of ugliness, I fought against it, my fight finally came to a halt when I acknowledged that yes I was ugly and no one can do anything about it, I often get pissed off when I see a film that takes a good looking actress, portrays her as an average ugly girl then again transforms her miraculously with the help of a couple of beauty experts, then she marries her crush and they live happily ever after, as this kind of drama instills false hope inside many like me. By ‘crush’ I remember, in the 2nd year of my college I kind of had a crush on a boy. When I came to know that he was single, I collected his number, called up one evening, gave my introduction and asked him if he can meet me as I have something to ask him. The next day I met him at the city center, I had asked him to come alone, we met, exchanged formalities, talked and had ice cream,  I didn't allow him to pay as I was the host. At last I said him what I had in my mind, he seemed to be shocked, but I knew that it was a fabricated response as he is not so dumb not to foresee this. He said that he is not ready at the moment and that he wants himself to have some time. I politely thanked him for his time, wished him best for the rest of his life and parted. I should have been sad, but I was not, I was happy for my boldness and my free mindedness. That day I felt that I graduated to the next level of my life. Since then I had numerous crushes on random boys, knowing it was not feasible I never approached them, but I was happy as I was able to accept myself as I was and didn't had the urge to run away from it i.e. I didn't see what my minded wanted me to see but saw what is in reality.

It has been 4 years since I have a job, and I am more than happy that I haven’t spent a single penny for any kind of gifts, dinners, cards for any stupid hope; I am very happy for what I am now, I don’t think of the future too much, as it instills fear in our minds. I know I may never have the experience of having someone I love, but there are so many other things and to do apart from that, which are ready to embrace me any given moment. I can see a vast sea of wonderful experiences waiting for me.

I am now going to keep ‘Mike’ –my pet, at the dog crèche for 2 months, as there will be no one to look after him while I am on the tour. Yes, with all those savings I did in the last 3 years I have gifted myself a world tour, I am really excited to see the Mediterranean as described by Paulo Coelho in ‘The Alchemist’, I want to see Germany as described by ‘Anne Frank’, I want to explore the coastal waters of Bali shown in ‘Discovery’, immerse myself in the night life of Pattaya and finally spot some kangaroos in Australian outback. I don’t know what will be my next aim after I come back, and I don’t try to know too. May be I will start a blog on my travel experiences… Tata!!

                                                                    

5 years later

Sujata is happily married with Ryan for three years now and has a 2 year old girl “Niyati”- or destiny. Sujata met Ryan through her blog that she wrote after returning from her tour. They didn’t know each other’s actual identities as both of them used aliases while communicating through the blog, Ryan was a daily visitor of Sujata’s blog and greatly admired her views and ideas, soon they started to talk and one day he expressed his intention of meeting her, Sujata agreed without much expectation.  And one fine evening they met near the sea and love did its magic. And here they are as a happy family. Sujata still doesn’t believes in society but she do believes in destiny; for it is destiny that made her possible to find Ryan again in life, and this time more than a childhood friend, as a kind of person that she always wanted to have as a husband.

“And, when you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

-Paulo Coelho.

In search of an ugly girl with a beautiful heart

He checked his pocket watch, it showed 12.35, being unsure he again checked the ticket, 12.40 was mentioned in the departure, by this time the train should have been reached the platform with potters and hawkers hustling around it for the short span of time the train made halt. The crowd was medium at this time of the day, as the rush hour was over; he could see a couple of workers from the Postal department anxious with the delay, who were seldom checking their watches.

 A little girl holding her mother’s hand passed by, to the ticket counter. The whole time the little girl’s eyes were fixed on the bouquet beside him. The woman went to the ticket counter, told her little daughter to be still as she searched her purse for the change required while purchasing the tickets. She took the tickets, clutched her daughter’s hand again and made through the crowd to the bench he was sitting. She then made herself comfortable in the bench and started observing the crowd.

“Look mom... Lilies!” the little girl said delightedly, almost grabbing one of the lilies from the bouquet.

"Oh dear..! Don’t touch it Sally”... she quickly intercepted her daughter’s hands off Joseph’s bouquet.

“I am so sorry Sir; actually Sally is much fond of lilies."

“Its fine, she is just a little girl", Joseph replied.

“Sally, one should not touch another’s bouquet no matter how beautiful lilies it has”, the lady said her daughter in an explaining tone.

For Joseph, he was much delighted to see a little girl named Sally who loves lilies, for it had remembered him of Elizabeth- his childhood love whom he is going to meet after a long time. He plucked two lilies off his bouquet and handed them to the little girl saying, "Beautiful lilies for a lovely Sally".

"Oh dear, there was no requirement for this”, the mother intervened.

“I insist that she keeps them”.

 “Such beautiful lilies they are, say thank you to the gentleman Sally".

“Thank you Sire”, the little girl said almost grabbing them from Joseph’s hand.

A whistle, a locomotive of the James and Smiths Company entered the platform with thick black smoke and white vapour emanating from its funnel and nozzles. The station started to look alive; Joseph stood up, picked his small suitcase up, adjusted his newly bought hat, held the bouquet in one hand, greeted the lady who was also getting ready to board the train, and started finding his coach.

He kept the bouquet on his seat bearing number 21, kept his suitcase in the baggage holder overhead , checked his pocket for the ticket one last time and sat on his seat. The seat cushions were of crimson leather and the wood work was of mahogany, there was still some effervescence of paint left in the compartment; suggesting that the coach was a new one. He removed one of the maroon shutters of the window, and looked outside. It had started to rain; he loved the way the rain pattered all over the glass window. He was happy, thinking that he didn’t had to get wet in the drizzle, he felt as if things were getting pleasant for him since the last five days. He took off his hat and hanged it, and made himself comfortable. As he was about to pull out his pipe, the same lady with her daughter entered the compartment, he slept his pipe back to his pocket.

"Oh Sir, we meet again", the lady said smiling.

Joseph smiled back with a nod as an acknowledgement. He was a little amazed to see her all of a sudden.

"Apparently we were given a wrong ticket by the man at the counter, it has now been rectified and the conductor allotted us this seat, 22 isn't it?” she asked while keeping her luggage in the rack.

“Yes madam, it is indeed” Joseph replied back.

“Where you are going by the way Sir?" the lady asked making herself comfortable.

"Winneston, and you are Madame?"

"We are going to visit Sally’s aunt at Gilesburg, about 4 hours from here"

"Sally is very much fond of her" she added.

“Oh... She must be very happy then” Joseph said.

"Not as much she is now with the lilies you gave her" she said with a humored tone.

Sally was still very busy contemplating the lilies, touching each petal with her tender little fingers and occasionally smelling its fragrance.  Something in her gleam dark eyes and curly locks of her hair reminded him of Elizabeth, giving him a pleasant feeling.

"Sally, what does your father do"? Joseph asked the little girl out of curiosity.

"My papa... papa went to the war" she said without lifting her eyes from the lilies.

"I am so sorry for you Madam...i...i didn’t…"

“It’s all right, i am used to it now" the lady said sensing Joseph’s uneasiness.

“Where he is deployed by the way eh"?

"Western France, he sent a letter last month for Sally's birthday"

"I wish the war gets over soon and little Sally can again unite with her father."

"I do wish for the same" the lady said, while pulling out a tabloid from her bag.

The train started moving slowly… First the London suburban, then the outskirts of the city, then the beautiful meadows where the cattle grazed started to pass by. The drizzling had stopped and the world was looking fresh and green. He started to think about Elizabeth, He recalled her eyes- deep and dark that reflected the gleam of the candle light so well in the church, while she sang the choir. He remembered her tender lips that tend to pour a thousand words to his heart even when she  spoke nothing, and then there was her beautiful long neck that could make the cheapest of the necklace seem grand. He started recalling all the pain and sufferings he had to undergo to see a day like today.

It has been twelve years, since he first felt for her; they were at the convent at that time. He still remembers the day cupid struck his heart with its arrows, it was a Thursday and they all went to the nearby orphanage to do some charity. They were instructed by their Sister(teacher) to distribute the boxes of sweet to the orphans. Then he held the carton and she started distributing the boxes one by one, the whole time he could not remove his eyes off her, the kindness and the divinity her face had while giving the boxes to the poor orphans were enough to make his heart skip a beat. It took him another three years to tell her what he felt for her, but she right away said that it’s not the way she felt about him, and that she can’t love him. And the process repeated itself for a couple of times more whenever he felt that he had become the person of her choice, but it was a consistent “no” on her part. He started writing poems expressing his love for her and willingly dropped them somewhere in the campus with his name signed below, it is very much expected that someone will find them and will show them to Elizabeth, and she might have some herself too but he never got any confirmation or acknowledgment from her any day regarding his poems. In the later years of high school, he didn’t go home in the holidays so that he could make some paintings of her from the figures he drew in his notebooks while they were in class. He then wrapped the paintings with great care and gifted them to Elizabeth in the morning of her birthday; which she always accepted with a kind smile and thanked him for his wishes. He kept on going great lengths like this just to get a small gratitude or piece of acknowledge from her.

For Elizabeth, the scenario was very different, no doubt she felt lucky that someone like Joseph loved her so direly, but she couldn’t do much beyond acknowledging his love. Because what made her heart leap with joy is when ‘Edward’ noticed her new dress and complimented her beauty in the annual ball and such. Edward was the Count’s son and was in the same grade as Joseph and Elizabeth. Edward had masculine body, a broad manly baritone, played hockey well and was the captain of the rowing team. His self-confidence and Royal behavior, not to mention his father’s reputation made him the prince charming for all the girls.

Even after knowing how Elizabeth felt about Edward; Joseph didn’t give up, he kept on falling for her. A few of his true friends came forward to make him acquainted to the reality of him watering a dead plant. But he didn’t listen to any of them; he simply befriended some who were more persistent in showing him the real picture. He never saw their faces again terming them as disbelievers of love.  While Joseph was dying for Elizabeth, Edward never took her too seriously in his life, but he do enjoyed sending occasional signals to her so that he never had to be alone.

Then they passed high school, this time Joseph was happy because there was no Edward in the college, but things didn’t went sweet  for him for a long time... because there came another ‘Edward’ named Jameson and then some more… but Joseph remained consistent in his mission of achieving Elizabeth.

Then came a fine October morning in the third year of their college, when Joseph was just about to pick up the pen to write a poem, his friend Sheldon entered his dorm and gave him the most saddening news of his life- Elizabeth was getting engaged to some Young professor from Princeton, Joseph was dumbstruck, he felt his life to be over, all his dreams and hopes for the last twelve years remain shattered in front of him, he felt like being stranded in a harsh deserted island with no hopes. He ran to the church in his morning pajamas and asked for god’s help… he remained there asking for God’s blessings the whole morning. But God’s help didn’t arrive him in time, after six months Elizabeth was engaged.  And the professor went across the Atlantic to pursue some research in the States, promising that he will return after a year to marry her.

By the time, Joseph got the job of a clerk at a bank at the London port. It was just a week before from now that God had listened to his then prayers; that his faithful messenger Sheldon again gave him news-The professor from Princeton died of T.B in the States. Astonished and delighted by the news at the same time, Joseph first thanked his God and then hailed love as the most supreme power of all, it is one more time established that “True love never goes unpaid”. He wrote a letter to Miss Elizabeth expressing his deep condolences and that how is shattered by the news of sudden demise of her spouse, he also didn’t forget to ask her hand for marriage if she had no problem in regard of his proposal.

There days later he got her letter, it was a “yes”, Joseph’s heart leapt out of joy, he never felt happier in his life before. He quickly sent a telegram to her saying that he will visit her at Winneston on his way to parents in Pittsburg where he would be making all the arrangements for the marriage.

He felt happy thinking about his whole journey to her, a smile emerged in his face involuntarily.

“Is there a dame? “, the lady in front asked him.

“I can always say when young men like you think about your dear ones”

A little uncomfortably Joseph replied, “yes, there is”

“How long you have loved her?”

“Twelve years”

“And she?”

“Pardon…”

“And she loved you since?”

“Eh.. she… she.”

“It is all right if you are uncomfortable for that part” said the lady with a smile

Sally was sleeping cozily in the above bunk. The lady stood up and checked again to see if she was in deep sleep… once contended she again made herself comfortable.

“You know…Sally’s father never went to the war”

“Madam…But…..”

“I lied to Sally; she has never seen him since she has been able to talk”

“So where is he now?”

“In the states, Chicago I guess”

“So….”

“We two separated just after Sally’s birth, it was the time I realized that he was not what I wanted as a husband. I never wanted him to influence Sally in any way possible, so I lied to her that her father went to the war and that all fathers don’t return from there.”

”Don’t want to invade into your privacy madam, but how you two met each other? Didn’t you have the option of saying no to him before your marriage?

“I had, but I didn't... I was madly in love with him since last six years before our marriage. You know I always wanted a man like him, but then he never used to entertain me much. He had a lot girlfriends, he was considered the ideal man who posed all the qualities sought by a girl. All girls were so ready to be with him, and I was among them too, but it was not the same with him, for him I was a nobody. And then suddenly came one day when luck played its game with destiny. I don’t want to go to that part of the story for which he had to marry me, but I was really the happiest girl on that day, a girl who achieved her dream. Our first few months were perfect, just like other ten girls will dream about. Then the things started going bad... terribly bad. His real image started emerging and I started to doubt him, some stark fear roamed inside me that I might have been able to achieve him but did not earn him. We started getting into fights, he started showing an attitude of i-did-not-wanted-you-its- you-who-wanted-me, I was very angry on him but more on myself for not seeing this earlier. Then Sally was born, he refused to acknowledge that she was his daughter, he said that he never loved me so much that Sally could be born. I was devastated; one night I simply asked him to leave us.  And by morning he was gone, and from that day onward he never inquired about us, and I too didn’t wait for him, I went with the flow of life, taking care of my little daughter.  Whenever Sally asked where is her father I simply said that he went to the war, my elder sister and her husband David helped me a lot in this regard. David wrote letters to Sally as her father whenever she inquired much about him..”

The train began to slow down… it was nearing the Gilesburg station. The lady stood up to awaken her daughter.

“Sally dear, wake up... We have reached your Aunt Ellen’s town”

Gathering her belongings, the lady said to Joseph,

“ Young man, never go for something basing on its beauty and charm, make sure first that you earn it, instead of a beautiful girl that doesn't  understand your heart, chose an ugly girl with a beautiful heart, good bye sire, Bon Voyage”  and the lady got of the coach.He could she through the window sally running to her aunt’s arms showing her the lilies.

The train started again, Joseph didn't feel as he felt before. May be the lady’s words did have an effect on him. The sun was almost down now with a tinge of vermilion hue on the western horizon. He kept on recalling that the lady told him “… don’t just achieve but earn her”...

Half an hour later, the train reached Winneston. Joseph held the bouquet in his hands...  He wrote a note, folded it and put it in the bouquet. He went to the door and called a passing by hawker and gave him some instructions and paid him ten pennies. Meanwhile a young lady was standing by the platform looking amidst the passengers getting off the train, her deep dark inquisitive eyes were searching for a familiar face, and her lips had a doubting curve. Joseph came back to his seat and shut the curtains off making sure to keep a small gap to see outside. The hawker approached the lady, she took the lilies from him and watching around asked him who gave it, but the hawker did not say a word and went to his business as instructed. Joseph noticed how her eyes gleamed with the light from the gas lights searching for a face amidst the crowd.

“She is searching for me, or perhaps its Edward...or...or may be Jameson from college.. or it is the professor from Princeton… but definitely not me.. not me…” Joseph spoke his mind

The train started again…. And Elizabeth opened the note, it said....

…………………………….

Dear Miss Elizabeth,

I am sorry.
But I could have never earned you.

J. Green

…………………………….

Joseph again started searching… and for a few years he continued his search for an ugly girl with a beautiful heart….

                               ***********************************************************