In search of an ugly girl with a beautiful heart

He checked his pocket watch, it showed 12.35, being unsure he again checked the ticket, 12.40 was mentioned in the departure, by this time the train should have been reached the platform with potters and hawkers hustling around it for the short span of time the train made halt. The crowd was medium at this time of the day, as the rush hour was over; he could see a couple of workers from the Postal department anxious with the delay, who were seldom checking their watches.

 A little girl holding her mother’s hand passed by, to the ticket counter. The whole time the little girl’s eyes were fixed on the bouquet beside him. The woman went to the ticket counter, told her little daughter to be still as she searched her purse for the change required while purchasing the tickets. She took the tickets, clutched her daughter’s hand again and made through the crowd to the bench he was sitting. She then made herself comfortable in the bench and started observing the crowd.

“Look mom... Lilies!” the little girl said delightedly, almost grabbing one of the lilies from the bouquet.

"Oh dear..! Don’t touch it Sally”... she quickly intercepted her daughter’s hands off Joseph’s bouquet.

“I am so sorry Sir; actually Sally is much fond of lilies."

“Its fine, she is just a little girl", Joseph replied.

“Sally, one should not touch another’s bouquet no matter how beautiful lilies it has”, the lady said her daughter in an explaining tone.

For Joseph, he was much delighted to see a little girl named Sally who loves lilies, for it had remembered him of Elizabeth- his childhood love whom he is going to meet after a long time. He plucked two lilies off his bouquet and handed them to the little girl saying, "Beautiful lilies for a lovely Sally".

"Oh dear, there was no requirement for this”, the mother intervened.

“I insist that she keeps them”.

 “Such beautiful lilies they are, say thank you to the gentleman Sally".

“Thank you Sire”, the little girl said almost grabbing them from Joseph’s hand.

A whistle, a locomotive of the James and Smiths Company entered the platform with thick black smoke and white vapour emanating from its funnel and nozzles. The station started to look alive; Joseph stood up, picked his small suitcase up, adjusted his newly bought hat, held the bouquet in one hand, greeted the lady who was also getting ready to board the train, and started finding his coach.

He kept the bouquet on his seat bearing number 21, kept his suitcase in the baggage holder overhead , checked his pocket for the ticket one last time and sat on his seat. The seat cushions were of crimson leather and the wood work was of mahogany, there was still some effervescence of paint left in the compartment; suggesting that the coach was a new one. He removed one of the maroon shutters of the window, and looked outside. It had started to rain; he loved the way the rain pattered all over the glass window. He was happy, thinking that he didn’t had to get wet in the drizzle, he felt as if things were getting pleasant for him since the last five days. He took off his hat and hanged it, and made himself comfortable. As he was about to pull out his pipe, the same lady with her daughter entered the compartment, he slept his pipe back to his pocket.

"Oh Sir, we meet again", the lady said smiling.

Joseph smiled back with a nod as an acknowledgement. He was a little amazed to see her all of a sudden.

"Apparently we were given a wrong ticket by the man at the counter, it has now been rectified and the conductor allotted us this seat, 22 isn't it?” she asked while keeping her luggage in the rack.

“Yes madam, it is indeed” Joseph replied back.

“Where you are going by the way Sir?" the lady asked making herself comfortable.

"Winneston, and you are Madame?"

"We are going to visit Sally’s aunt at Gilesburg, about 4 hours from here"

"Sally is very much fond of her" she added.

“Oh... She must be very happy then” Joseph said.

"Not as much she is now with the lilies you gave her" she said with a humored tone.

Sally was still very busy contemplating the lilies, touching each petal with her tender little fingers and occasionally smelling its fragrance.  Something in her gleam dark eyes and curly locks of her hair reminded him of Elizabeth, giving him a pleasant feeling.

"Sally, what does your father do"? Joseph asked the little girl out of curiosity.

"My papa... papa went to the war" she said without lifting her eyes from the lilies.

"I am so sorry for you Madam...i...i didn’t…"

“It’s all right, i am used to it now" the lady said sensing Joseph’s uneasiness.

“Where he is deployed by the way eh"?

"Western France, he sent a letter last month for Sally's birthday"

"I wish the war gets over soon and little Sally can again unite with her father."

"I do wish for the same" the lady said, while pulling out a tabloid from her bag.

The train started moving slowly… First the London suburban, then the outskirts of the city, then the beautiful meadows where the cattle grazed started to pass by. The drizzling had stopped and the world was looking fresh and green. He started to think about Elizabeth, He recalled her eyes- deep and dark that reflected the gleam of the candle light so well in the church, while she sang the choir. He remembered her tender lips that tend to pour a thousand words to his heart even when she  spoke nothing, and then there was her beautiful long neck that could make the cheapest of the necklace seem grand. He started recalling all the pain and sufferings he had to undergo to see a day like today.

It has been twelve years, since he first felt for her; they were at the convent at that time. He still remembers the day cupid struck his heart with its arrows, it was a Thursday and they all went to the nearby orphanage to do some charity. They were instructed by their Sister(teacher) to distribute the boxes of sweet to the orphans. Then he held the carton and she started distributing the boxes one by one, the whole time he could not remove his eyes off her, the kindness and the divinity her face had while giving the boxes to the poor orphans were enough to make his heart skip a beat. It took him another three years to tell her what he felt for her, but she right away said that it’s not the way she felt about him, and that she can’t love him. And the process repeated itself for a couple of times more whenever he felt that he had become the person of her choice, but it was a consistent “no” on her part. He started writing poems expressing his love for her and willingly dropped them somewhere in the campus with his name signed below, it is very much expected that someone will find them and will show them to Elizabeth, and she might have some herself too but he never got any confirmation or acknowledgment from her any day regarding his poems. In the later years of high school, he didn’t go home in the holidays so that he could make some paintings of her from the figures he drew in his notebooks while they were in class. He then wrapped the paintings with great care and gifted them to Elizabeth in the morning of her birthday; which she always accepted with a kind smile and thanked him for his wishes. He kept on going great lengths like this just to get a small gratitude or piece of acknowledge from her.

For Elizabeth, the scenario was very different, no doubt she felt lucky that someone like Joseph loved her so direly, but she couldn’t do much beyond acknowledging his love. Because what made her heart leap with joy is when ‘Edward’ noticed her new dress and complimented her beauty in the annual ball and such. Edward was the Count’s son and was in the same grade as Joseph and Elizabeth. Edward had masculine body, a broad manly baritone, played hockey well and was the captain of the rowing team. His self-confidence and Royal behavior, not to mention his father’s reputation made him the prince charming for all the girls.

Even after knowing how Elizabeth felt about Edward; Joseph didn’t give up, he kept on falling for her. A few of his true friends came forward to make him acquainted to the reality of him watering a dead plant. But he didn’t listen to any of them; he simply befriended some who were more persistent in showing him the real picture. He never saw their faces again terming them as disbelievers of love.  While Joseph was dying for Elizabeth, Edward never took her too seriously in his life, but he do enjoyed sending occasional signals to her so that he never had to be alone.

Then they passed high school, this time Joseph was happy because there was no Edward in the college, but things didn’t went sweet  for him for a long time... because there came another ‘Edward’ named Jameson and then some more… but Joseph remained consistent in his mission of achieving Elizabeth.

Then came a fine October morning in the third year of their college, when Joseph was just about to pick up the pen to write a poem, his friend Sheldon entered his dorm and gave him the most saddening news of his life- Elizabeth was getting engaged to some Young professor from Princeton, Joseph was dumbstruck, he felt his life to be over, all his dreams and hopes for the last twelve years remain shattered in front of him, he felt like being stranded in a harsh deserted island with no hopes. He ran to the church in his morning pajamas and asked for god’s help… he remained there asking for God’s blessings the whole morning. But God’s help didn’t arrive him in time, after six months Elizabeth was engaged.  And the professor went across the Atlantic to pursue some research in the States, promising that he will return after a year to marry her.

By the time, Joseph got the job of a clerk at a bank at the London port. It was just a week before from now that God had listened to his then prayers; that his faithful messenger Sheldon again gave him news-The professor from Princeton died of T.B in the States. Astonished and delighted by the news at the same time, Joseph first thanked his God and then hailed love as the most supreme power of all, it is one more time established that “True love never goes unpaid”. He wrote a letter to Miss Elizabeth expressing his deep condolences and that how is shattered by the news of sudden demise of her spouse, he also didn’t forget to ask her hand for marriage if she had no problem in regard of his proposal.

There days later he got her letter, it was a “yes”, Joseph’s heart leapt out of joy, he never felt happier in his life before. He quickly sent a telegram to her saying that he will visit her at Winneston on his way to parents in Pittsburg where he would be making all the arrangements for the marriage.

He felt happy thinking about his whole journey to her, a smile emerged in his face involuntarily.

“Is there a dame? “, the lady in front asked him.

“I can always say when young men like you think about your dear ones”

A little uncomfortably Joseph replied, “yes, there is”

“How long you have loved her?”

“Twelve years”

“And she?”

“Pardon…”

“And she loved you since?”

“Eh.. she… she.”

“It is all right if you are uncomfortable for that part” said the lady with a smile

Sally was sleeping cozily in the above bunk. The lady stood up and checked again to see if she was in deep sleep… once contended she again made herself comfortable.

“You know…Sally’s father never went to the war”

“Madam…But…..”

“I lied to Sally; she has never seen him since she has been able to talk”

“So where is he now?”

“In the states, Chicago I guess”

“So….”

“We two separated just after Sally’s birth, it was the time I realized that he was not what I wanted as a husband. I never wanted him to influence Sally in any way possible, so I lied to her that her father went to the war and that all fathers don’t return from there.”

”Don’t want to invade into your privacy madam, but how you two met each other? Didn’t you have the option of saying no to him before your marriage?

“I had, but I didn't... I was madly in love with him since last six years before our marriage. You know I always wanted a man like him, but then he never used to entertain me much. He had a lot girlfriends, he was considered the ideal man who posed all the qualities sought by a girl. All girls were so ready to be with him, and I was among them too, but it was not the same with him, for him I was a nobody. And then suddenly came one day when luck played its game with destiny. I don’t want to go to that part of the story for which he had to marry me, but I was really the happiest girl on that day, a girl who achieved her dream. Our first few months were perfect, just like other ten girls will dream about. Then the things started going bad... terribly bad. His real image started emerging and I started to doubt him, some stark fear roamed inside me that I might have been able to achieve him but did not earn him. We started getting into fights, he started showing an attitude of i-did-not-wanted-you-its- you-who-wanted-me, I was very angry on him but more on myself for not seeing this earlier. Then Sally was born, he refused to acknowledge that she was his daughter, he said that he never loved me so much that Sally could be born. I was devastated; one night I simply asked him to leave us.  And by morning he was gone, and from that day onward he never inquired about us, and I too didn’t wait for him, I went with the flow of life, taking care of my little daughter.  Whenever Sally asked where is her father I simply said that he went to the war, my elder sister and her husband David helped me a lot in this regard. David wrote letters to Sally as her father whenever she inquired much about him..”

The train began to slow down… it was nearing the Gilesburg station. The lady stood up to awaken her daughter.

“Sally dear, wake up... We have reached your Aunt Ellen’s town”

Gathering her belongings, the lady said to Joseph,

“ Young man, never go for something basing on its beauty and charm, make sure first that you earn it, instead of a beautiful girl that doesn't  understand your heart, chose an ugly girl with a beautiful heart, good bye sire, Bon Voyage”  and the lady got of the coach.He could she through the window sally running to her aunt’s arms showing her the lilies.

The train started again, Joseph didn't feel as he felt before. May be the lady’s words did have an effect on him. The sun was almost down now with a tinge of vermilion hue on the western horizon. He kept on recalling that the lady told him “… don’t just achieve but earn her”...

Half an hour later, the train reached Winneston. Joseph held the bouquet in his hands...  He wrote a note, folded it and put it in the bouquet. He went to the door and called a passing by hawker and gave him some instructions and paid him ten pennies. Meanwhile a young lady was standing by the platform looking amidst the passengers getting off the train, her deep dark inquisitive eyes were searching for a familiar face, and her lips had a doubting curve. Joseph came back to his seat and shut the curtains off making sure to keep a small gap to see outside. The hawker approached the lady, she took the lilies from him and watching around asked him who gave it, but the hawker did not say a word and went to his business as instructed. Joseph noticed how her eyes gleamed with the light from the gas lights searching for a face amidst the crowd.

“She is searching for me, or perhaps its Edward...or...or may be Jameson from college.. or it is the professor from Princeton… but definitely not me.. not me…” Joseph spoke his mind

The train started again…. And Elizabeth opened the note, it said....

…………………………….

Dear Miss Elizabeth,

I am sorry.
But I could have never earned you.

J. Green

…………………………….

Joseph again started searching… and for a few years he continued his search for an ugly girl with a beautiful heart….

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